Written by Kanishka
When a baby giraffe falls to the ground from the cushion of its mother’s womb, the mother goes behind the baby and gives it a hard kick. The baby gets up but sits down again. The mother keeps kicking till the baby gets up on its feet and starts moving. Why? She knows that the only chance of survival for the baby in the jungle is to be on its feet.
The parent-child Relationship is one that nurtures the physical, emotional, and social development of the child. A unique bond that every child and parent can enjoy lays the foundation for the child's personality, life choices, and overall behavior.
Today, the case is different. A child is exposed to a variety of factors that a parent can never think of. This generation gap is getting larger and it gets even larger in the presence of distractions.
I use the term ‘distractions’ to refer to every individual, bond, activity, or interest that the parent and the child don’t share. The complexity arises of the generation gap when a friend is ready to help and the parents seem no more than an enemy. Complexity arises when a friend does but, a parent disagrees. Eventually, it is not the parents who are always right or wrong but, a relationship that must strive for a better good.
To a child, a parent’s well-meaning advice sounds like nothing more than unnecessary preaching. While the child grows up and builds an understanding of their world of exhilaration, each distraction just broadens up. In the time-lapse, there is not a single meeting point.
Discipline is an act of love. Sometimes, you have to be kind. Not all medicines are sweet and not all surgeries are painless, but we take them. Discipline does not mean that a person takes a belt and beats their kids up. Discipline is loving firmness. It is not something we do for ourselves but for those we care about.
Children brought into a loving yet disciplined environment end up respecting their parents and becoming law-abiding citizens. The reverse is just as true; good parents are not apprehensive of momentary dislike to enforce the subject. Allowing a child to eat a box of chocolates invites sickness. The discipline of eating tolerable pieces of chocolate can be an enjoyable experience. Freedom is not procured by the full enjoyment of what we want, but by controlling our desires.
A unique bond needs equal participation from the child’s place as well. Quite a few social problems wherein the child is trapped just do not let them open up and nurture their bonds. Social problems include withdrawal, loneliness, loss of confidence, school problems, learning disorders, anxiety and depression, alcohol and drug abuse (particularly associated with mental illness), suicide or self-harm, and theft and criminal behavior. We ought to solve this.
To fit in the character of a good parent-child relationship is not a prescribed technique. Every relationship is unique and both the parents and children can put in small efforts to build the bond. A few steps are mentioned.
How do we make the voice of reason be heard in the conflicting contentions? The most important thing for the parents to do is listen to their children and their silence and vice-versa. Keep time aside for them. Insist that they share their stories. Go and ask them if they have had lunch, have had enough sleep, want their favorite song to be played, or need a pat to sleep on. Step into their world. It is not as complicated as it appears. Half an hour of quality time per day would do the trick.
A simple effort from your side may get your family to believe that they are not alone. Knowing someone is there can make a huge difference. It allows the children to open up to talk things through, building trust in the relationship. Everything we do and say is a clue to the people around us as to how approachable and trustworthy we are. Being inclusive and compassionate in daily interactions signals to your kids that you are safe to express their concerns and anxieties. Then, the mother giraffe brings up a solicitous and brave baby. The mother giraffe is happy; the baby did their best!
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